Wednesday, April 30, 2008

White People Night

This week, we're doing it for whitey.

We here at Compression appreciate that Drum and Bass can be especially scary to white people. There's big bass, a charging beat, and funky drum "breaks" that can make dancing difficult. I mean, how do you count "1-2-3-4" in your head to a beat that goes "1-2. 3-4"? Whitey sure as hell don't know, so he's headed over to a Trance party, where all his friends are waiting for him--with glowsticks and hugs!

But yo, whitey, hang on a second!

Yeah, you--with the cool mustache and feather earring! This week, Compression Crew is doing it for you! Sure, we'll be playing all the newest, heaviest, funkiest D&B, but this week Compression's going to make it easy on you.

FIRST up, we're hosting the night in TEMPLE'S Destiny Lounge, aka the WHITE ROOM. How comforting is that?

SECOND, we'll have dance lessons FOR white people BY white people! Come learn how to catch the groove, or at the very least, fake the funk. (See the Colonel for your free lesson.)

THIRD, as part of Compression's new second room, the TEMPLE UNDERGROUND, Temple residents will be dropping ELECTRO and other white-people's music in the Catacombs, so if you get overwhelmed by the funky bass, you can always retreat for a few minutes and clog or line-dance or something to calm yourself down.

FINALLY, the talent on the night is the incomporably white COMPRESSION CREW.

How goddamn white are those fools? It's like that movie Powder or something!

So, honkey, roll out and catch the groove. Be warned that there are likely to be a number of non-white people there doing some kind of XJ-9000 dance that makes you nervous, and the deliciously caramel La Loca will likely be snapping your picture, but never mind them. This week is yours! Come out, start counting in your head, and DANCE, WHITE PEOPLE, DANCE!!

As always, we get crackin' at about 10:30. Smoking area outside, beer and drink specials at the bar, peoples of all colors rocking on the dancefloor.