We here at Compression appreciate that Drum and Bass can be especially scary to white people. There's big bass, a charging beat, and funky drum "breaks" that can make dancing difficult. I mean, how do you count "1-2-3-4" in your head to a beat that goes "1-2. 3-4"? Whitey sure as hell don't know, so he's headed over to a Trance party, where all his friends are waiting for him--with glowsticks and hugs!
But yo, whitey, hang on a second!
Yeah, you--with the cool mustache and feather earring! This week, Compression Crew is doing it for you! Sure, we'll be playing all the newest, heaviest, funkiest D&B, but this week Compression's going to make it easy on you.
FIRST up, we're hosting the night in TEMPLE'S Destiny Lounge, aka the WHITE ROOM. How comforting is that?
SECOND, we'll have dance lessons FOR white people BY white people! Come learn how to catch the groove, or at the very least, fake the funk. (See the Colonel for your free lesson.)
THIRD, as part of Compression's new second room, the TEMPLE UNDERGROUND, Temple residents will be dropping ELECTRO and other white-people's music in the Catacombs, so if you get overwhelmed by the funky bass, you can always retreat for a few minutes and clog or line-dance or something to calm yourself down.
FINALLY, the talent on the night is the incomporably white COMPRESSION CREW.
How goddamn white are those fools? It's like that movie Powder or something!
So, honkey, roll out and catch the groove. Be warned that there are likely to be a number of non-white people there doing some kind of XJ-9000 dance that makes you nervous, and the deliciously caramel La Loca will likely be snapping your picture, but never mind them. This week is yours! Come out, start counting in your head, and DANCE, WHITE PEOPLE, DANCE!!
As always, we get crackin' at about 10:30. Smoking area outside, beer and drink specials at the bar, peoples of all colors rocking on the dancefloor.
NEVER FORGET: HONEY BEAR LOVES YOU!!
LOL. You guys are fucking crazy.
ReplyDeletesee you there
YAHTZEEE! the beets are white and will be there with our white asses
ReplyDeleteTHE BEETS ARE WHITE!
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ReplyDeleteDo white people get a discount to get in?
ReplyDeleteI am going and going to look extra non-white just to piss you guys off. =)
ReplyDeleteYou are so Stereo Typing me and white bretheren!!! Ive been to these drug fueled, sex crazed partys before and i know what you fuckers are all about!!!
ReplyDeleteatek one says:
ReplyDeletecome on people now, smile on your brother...play some freebird!
wigga wiggity wack politicin' on a track. mashin up the place to the wicked snare attack. the bass may be a boomin, but what people comin back? you cannot beat the spade, yo, i'm an ace you're just a jack. Word, really I'm a fan, but you should be sellin crack, with your wasteline at your knees, why try to act all black? So go and play your yahtzee...I'm the uno that's a fact. fuck the game...
Look, people, get the memo already: Using irony to defend yourselves against the accusation that you are making racist jokes simply isn't acceptable.
ReplyDeleteIrony in the service of pointing out racism is one thing but irony in the service of trying to make white people feel more comfortable living in their segregated spheres of life is a different matter entirely.
White only themed parties, even as jokes, are not funny. Especially when you are playing black music. Not funny. Not at all. It's not even about PC. It's about having a fucking brain in your heads.
rasist negros lol
ReplyDeleteWow, Legba, you're either hilarious or furiously retarded. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it's the former.
ReplyDelete